One of the best experiences I’ve had as a parent

I work shifts, four days on four days off, as a firefighter. This gives me a huge advantage in terms of time spent with my daughter.

Together, we’ve attended playdates and craft and toy-sharing sessions – and despite online depictions of a more equal world, I’m usually the only dad there.

Maybe that’s why when my daughter started school, I felt like I was suffering from a mild form of empty nest syndrome. I wanted to maintain our bond, so I decided to plan a trip – just for the two of us.

We are English, so I thought it would be better to stay in Europe, although I have traveled to Japan twice with my wife and daughter. (A long-haul flight without your mother was a scary concept, I admit).

I checked flights, my budget, and travel times that would keep his sleep schedule intact, limiting him to two locations: Porto, Portugal or Bergen, Norway. Then I asked my daughter if she wanted to go somewhere warm or cold. To my great surprise, she chose the cold, therefore Bergen.

We left for Manchester Airport much earlier than necessary, which ended up giving us more time to play spy and talk to people in the terminal. My child’s self-confidence and kindness acted as an ice breaker and we interacted with many more people than I would have if I had traveled alone.

I tactically booked an airport hotel to alleviate our first night in Bergen. But we both arrived full of energy. Once the lights were turned off, she fell asleep almost instantly, while I stayed awake. I was now the excited child, excited about our upcoming trip.

The next day we took the train to the city center – and I already knew Norway was the right choice. The tunnels and stunning topography were matched only by the people.

My daughter exudes a confidence that I hope she never loses. She gave a thumbs up to locals on the platforms at each stop, always receiving a reciprocated wave and a smile in return. She quickly moved on to the two-handed love heart sign, which a young Norwegian couple mirrored back. With enough melted real hearts, she returned to the coloring book the hotel concierge had given her that morning.

From the efficiency of the train to the cleanliness of the city streets, Norway reminded me of Japan.

The similarities to the “Land of the Rising Sun” continued throughout our trip: the funny beeps at railroad crossings, the prevalence of 7-Eleven convenience stores, the reserved but kind people, the subtle fashion choices and mature people, the excellent customer service, the tasty food and the unreserved kindness towards children.

“Children come first in Norwegian culture,” a mother told me at VilVite, a children’s science museum in Bergen. We had talked about the impressive children’s museum and how eager the staff on every corner were to enhance the children’s learning experience. Opened 17 years ago, the museum looked brand new. The exhibits change regularly so local parents keep coming back.

As we talked, my daughter played with other children, building Lego cars to test them on a corrugated wooden track that eventually smashed them to smithereens.

Raising children in Norway is different from raising them in England. There is a monthly cap on childcare costs, which incentivizes both parents to work and promotes gender equality in the labor market. Children do not start school until the age of six, which gives them more time within the family unit. The country’s low crime rate means it’s normal for children to walk to school or other family members’ homes alone – another similarity with Japan.

Vague plans guided our trip and I let my child lead the way as much as possible. We ate crepes near the port, laughing to the loud horns of the nearby cruise ships. We took a funicular to the top of Mount Fløyen, hiked to a lake, and hiked over rocks along the water’s edge. Along the way we saw cairns, which are small piles of stones that usually mark an important location. My daughter insisted on building her own, in homage to one of her favorite stuffed animals.

We spent the rest of our short vacation exploring the cobblestone streets and alleyways of the safe and quiet town, often taking photos of eclectic street art. Our walk took us to a toy store, parks, an ice cream parlor, a fire station, and a large church with a choir practicing inside.

On our last night together, we sat on our hotel bed, me with a reindeer hot dog and my daughter with a box of leftover pizza. She watched children’s shows on television, not worrying about not understanding a word.

It was a simple and unexpected moment, and I will cherish this memory forever. We were both satisfied and fulfilled after a day of father-daughter adventure without responsibilities or thoughts of the future.

No matter how spontaneous you are, being a parent inevitably puts you into a routine. Even “having fun” can involve unwritten stipulations, worries, and planning..

This is why one-on-one time to truly enjoy our children is essential: times when we forget about work, household chores, bills and everything that can weigh down life. Exploring new territories, solving problems and having fun together, miles from home, is one of the best experiences I’ve had as a parent.

I wonder if my four-year-old granddaughter will remember this trip when she grows up.

I know I will. I’m already planning our next one.